While You Were Offline: Twitter’s Got More Beef Than a Steakhouse
If there’s been a common
theme to this week’s shenanigans on the Internet, it’s been that people
are at war with each other. And not just the regular kind of “Internet
people are jerks to each other because it’s the Internet” kind of war,
either; this was a week where surprise beefs just kept appearing out of
nowhere, each one more surreal than the last. Was something in
retrograde? Something must have been in retrograde. Here, then, are the
tiffs and verbal dustups behind the last seven days on this, our wild
World Wide Web.
Time Earth is a Flat Circle
What Happened: It’s the interspectacular rap battle
you’ve been waiting for, as B.o.B. faces off against Neil deGrasse Tyson
after making claims that the Earth is, in actuality, really flat.
Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media think pieces
What Really Happened: The week got off to
an unexpected start when rapper B.o.B. started sharing his theories
about the shape of the Earth on Twitter:
His tweets prompted much concern and hilarity amongst Twitter followers, as well as both
explanations and
defenses
from the media. However, one media figure just couldn’t stand by while
science was being debased. The same media figure who can
never
stand by when anyone—or anything, including fictionalized narratives in
worlds with alternate laws of physics—takes science anything other than
100 percent literally: Neil deGrasse Tyson.
B.o.B. wasn’t convinced (in a tweet since deleted, he responded, “Why
can’t the curvature of the earth be measured anywhere in nature? why
does only NASA have photos of the curve? r u a mason?”), but he did take
that line about Neil enjoying his music to heart… and dropped a
track—also since deleted—where he not only dissed NGT, he also
cited Holocaust denier David Irving.
The whole thing was amazing, with lyrics like “Aye, Neil Tyson need
to loosen up his vest/They’ll probably write that man one hell of a
check” and “I see only good things on the horizon/That’s probably why
the horizon is always rising/Indoctrinated in a cult called science/And
graduated to a club full of liars,” although the surprise highlight (OK,
lowlight) was likely, “Stalin was way worse than Hitler/That’s
why the POTUS gotta wear a Kipper.” The track was called “Flat Line,”
after the chorus, which went, “Flat line flat line/You fooled us for the
last time/Flat line flat line/There’s no superior blood line.”
As if this wasn’t getting surreal enough, deGrasse Tyson then
responded with his own track. Well, almost:
The track in question
comes from his nephew,
and includes the lyric, “Very important that I clear this up/You say
that Neil’s vest is what he needs to loosen up?/The ignorance you’re
spinning helps to keep people enslaved, I mean mentally.” Recognizing
game, B.o.B. de-escalated things:
So, while
the lame stream media played up the conflict between the two, it’s just like Madonna once so poignantly sang: music makes the people come together.
The Takeaway: But, uh, you guys
do all know
that the Earth isn’t actually flat, right? I mean, sure, Neil deGrasse
Tyson can be offputtingly pedantic and all, but he’s not actually
wrong here…
Kanye Distracts The Internet’s Entire Creative Process
What Happened: A simple misunderstanding broke the Internet. But, in everyone’s defense, the misunderstanding was Kanye West’s.
Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces
What Really Happened: As
we pointed out Wednesday,
Kanye West went off on Wiz Khalifa on Twitter midweek over what turned
out to be a misunderstanding, and … well, to be honest, he pretty much
brought the Internet to a halt in the process.
For those who missed the original kerfuffle, the short version of what happened was that Wiz tweeted this:
…which Kanye took as a reference to his wife Kim Kardashian, and
responded—well, we were going to say appropriately, but the thing that
made everyone sit up and take notice was how impressively oversize the
reaction was. (Most of the tweets are gone, but you can read them
here.) Especially considering that Wiz wasn’t actually talking about Kardashian:
But, you know, it’s easy to see why Kanye would’ve made the mistake; it’s not like Wiz had previously made a track
called “KK” about the damn thing.
Oh. Never mind.
Anyway, in retrospect, what’s amazing about Ye’s rant isn’t the rant
itself, but everything that followed, as the Internet tried to come to
terms with what had happened. As
parts of the rant became immediate memes and
BuzzFeed quiz fodder, the Internet sought to place what had just happened into context.
Was Kanye thinking deeply about the big subjects? Perhaps
Vox could explain things to readers who had no idea what was going on. Or maybe
The Week, for an even less likely to understand audience.
The (non-)fight
made headlines everywhere as if no one could really understand what just happened.
Thankfully social media was here to help.
Oh, and why
did Kanye delete the tweets?
Well, that’s one potential reason, but many people think it’s because
Amber Rose—Kanye and Wiz’s mutual ex, and someone who was collateral
damage in West’s deleted rant—got involved by posting this:
That was posted before the tweets were deleted. And then, after the tweets were deleted, she posted this:
As #buttstuff started trending on Twitter as a result (no, really), West felt the need to clarify that,
no, of course he’s not into that:
If there’s one highlight to come from this whole thing—besides the
phrase “you have distracted from my creative process,” of course—it
might be this last exchange. Kanye, you’re looking mighty nervous over
there.
The Takeaway: There are so many takeaways! Kanye is
quick to rush to hilarious self-righteousness? The Internet equally
quick to jump on it because it’s Kanye? The seeming ease with which
Kanye can come up with perfect meme material? But really, Mr. West
probably just wants us to focus on the two most important things: that
Waves,
his new album, is coming out soon and that he definitely isn’t into
anal play whatsoever, no sir, why would you ever say such a thing?
This Week’s No, Really, What The Hell? Moment
What Happened: As if deGrasse Tyson/B.o.B. wasn’t
strange enough, this week saw a second entirely unexpected beef, as
Ghostface Killah and Martin Shkreli have gone to war. With
unintentionally hilarious results.
Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs
What Really Happened: This one is just nuts. Remember supervillain-in-training Martin Shkreli, the guy who
hiked prices on a life-saving drug and was then
arrested by the FBI on charges of securities fraud? And remember that he
bought the sole copy of that Wu-Tang Clan album?
Well, it turns out that the Clan’s Ghostface Killah isn’t too happy about any of that,
according to an interview he gave TMZ.
“That shithead bought it, you know what I mean?” he said, referring to
Shkreli. “You don’t take some AIDS pill that you have for seven dollars,
and make it like eight hundred dollars. You don’t do that, I don’t care
if you bought the Wu-Tang whatever.”
While many—some would say, the majority—would agree, the real world Lex Luthor wannabe wasn’t amused:
Well, OK; that’s actually a pretty good burn. But it turns out,
Ghostface wasn’t going to take that lying down.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JT_3o4-9WPw Oh,
shit. You don’t insult a man’s Michael Jackson nose and not expect a response, right? Shkreli was
so upset that his response had its own Twitter teaser.
While that tweet might have seemed like someone going “Yeah? Yeah? I’m gonna have a
great comeback, you just wait!” and then running away crying, it turned out that
Shkreli’s response was well worth waiting for:
Amazing, right? It raises so many questions: Who are those random
dudes behind Shkreli? Why is he pretending to be a gangster? Given that
no one else will ever hear the Wu-Tang album, in what way is removing
the Ghostface verses a threat at all? Has this man ever left his house?
As you might expect, the Internet had to respond:
Of course, the video
immediately went viral,
because how could it not?
It’s not every day that a disgraced CEO who is under federal
investigation threatens a rapper via a video in which he is surrounded
by, let’s be honest, actors or bodyguards dressed in hoodies and masks
to disguise their blushes. This is something that
deserved to be seen by all. Oh, yeah; and after TMZ
tweeted that Shkreli was the “absolute worst,” he
called in to TMZ Live
just to say that he wasn’t threatening Ghostface, really, and by the
way, he deserves respect and he’ll defeat the legal charges against him.
How is this man even real? The Takeaway: Take it away, Twitter:
Twitterosum Lessononia!
What Happened: Next up in this parade of social media war: the woman who wrote
Harry Potter taking on a member of the British Parliament. No, really.
Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media think pieces
What Really Happened: Natalie McGarry is a
British Parliament member who can’t seem to avoid controversy. She came
to Parliament last May as part of the Scottish National Party’s massive
sweep to power (The party won 56 of 59 seats in Scotland), only to
become
embroiled in a scandal over
disappearing donations. Suspended from the SNP, she became an
independent MP, and then this week, got into a fight on Twitter with
J.K. Rowling that may see her sued for defamation of character. (You
have to wonder what her constituents feel about her performance, don’t
you?)
What led to this dramatic tweet from Rowling—
—was a
six hour fight on Twitter between the author and the
MP, over whether or not Rowling supported, in McGarry’s words, “a
misogynist Twitter troll.” It all started here:
The conversation, which is now impossible to share thanks to McGarry
having deleted tweets and locked her account, centered around the
accusation that Rowling had positive interactions with
a pseudonymous account
that takes delight in baiting, trolling and outright insulting Scottish
nationalists—something that was actually true, because said account had
donated money to Rowling’s charity, Lumos. After much back and forth
where Rowling asked for proof that she had defending trolling as a
practice, McGarry sent a tweet seemingly backing down. “On reflection, I
do apologize for any misguided inference that you support misogyny or
abuse instead of the folk you tweet,” it read. And then a McGarry
supporter stepped in to defend the MP:
McGarry herself soon shared that image as proof, and seemingly recanted her apology. The only problem was the tweets
weren’t related at all, as Rowling pointed out:
After McGarry argued that Rowling’s interactions with the abusive
account implied support for all of its tweets, Rowling responded:
Now
that’s g-r-r-ea—too obvious? Okay, I won’t go there, then.
The Takeaway: Has anyone checked in on the Energizer Bunny lately? We’re suddenly very worried.